You know you're a parent when...

This is another one that I'll post here and at williamplavinsmom.blogspot.com since it applies to both kids. I was laughing to myself recently thinking of all the things you do as a parent without even thinking about it and that you thought you might never do. Mike and I giggle constantly about the state of our lives as parents and I thought I'd better write some down before we forget the craziness that is our life together now that we're parents.

You know you're a parent when:
1. In the dead of night at the smallest noise from the baby monitor, you can jump out of bed, charge up the stairs, move a vomiting child into a bathtub and strip a queen-size bed in less time that it takes your sleepy wife to meet you up upstairs (honors go to Mike)
2. You find yourself with a breast pump unit tucked into your sweats and the flange strapped to you via your tank top or bra so that you can pump and still get two kids ready and in the car at the same time (honors to Mariska on that one).
3. You hear "come look at this big poop!" coming from your bathroom and think nothing of it because you're used to your toddler's pride at his bowel movements.
4. You sleep sitting up on a couch with your knees up just so you can keep a sick baby propped up all night while they sleep (Mariska has done this with both children)
5. You know without having to look first that Commander Cody is downstairs with Clone Captain Rex, but their helmets and blasters are upstairs and that R2-D2 was last seen in the bathroom because you remember playing with your son and where he deposited the various elements of his Star Wars toys as he blew through the house like a tornado (Mike's the champion at this)
6. You find yourself eating a smaller meal because your child wants to "share" yours (we've both made this sacrifice - OFTEN)
7. You've uttered phrases like "look at me when I'm talking to you", "I'm the parent, I make the rules", "for the last time will you...", "who do you think you're talking to?", "put that down!", "your spoon is not a blaster", "don't climb on me, I am not a jungle gym", "keep the water INSIDE the bathtub", "I don't care who started it!", etc.
8. You've played baseball in the park with your toddler and had your infant strapped to you via a sling so they could sleep at the same time (yes, Elizabeth could sleep in the sling on my back even while I chased William around the bases!)
9. You've been kicked, hit, slapped and punched by your sleeping child because you're sharing their bed with them during a particularly bad bout of nightmares or illness.
10. You've declared a room "monster free" just so your kid would go to sleep.
11. You've used all your blankets and furniture to build a tent because you remember how much YOU loved them as a kid.
12. You've literally CRAWLED into your baby's nursery to check on them so that you're hidden behind their crib bumper because your baby is now old enough to FREAK OUT if they can see you.
13. You've found yourself singing some nursery rhyme, children's song, etc. over and over again because your child's toy has been playing it non-stop.
14. You've ever spent hours on Christams Eve night wrapping presents and putting together some gift you bought your kid without realizing how many freakin' pieces it came in.
15. You've vacuumed, dusted, washed dishes, cooked or cleaned with a child attached to you via a baby back-pack or sling (Mike and I have both done this one).
16. You've been seen walking through an airport, supermarket, etc. with a stuffed animal because your kiddo insisted they needed their buddy and then no longer wanted to carry it.
17. You've gone to work on 4 hours of sleep or less (Mike and I both hold honors in this one).
18. You've called one child by another's name (or the dog's name, your sibling's name, your spouses name, etc) because you're tired, frustrated, flustered or all three.
19. You've driven around the block (or farther) with your baby in their carseat just to get them to sleep/stop crying.
20. You've slept on the couch while your baby sleeps in their swing because you CANNOT get them to sleep anywhere else that night.
21. You've been soaked to your underwear by spit-up and you calmly finish feeding and/or cleaning your baby before changing and cleaning up yourself.
22. You've eaten a meal with a squirmy baby in your lap, usually giving up on finishing the meal becuase it's too tiring to keep playing "keep-the-spoon-fork-plate-napkin-tablecloth-cup-from-the-baby" (baby's limbs seem to stretch to fantastic lengths at the table!)
23. You've gotten to the checkout line at the market and discovered a "surprise" in your cart because your child's reach is longer than you knew and they threw in an item or two.
24. Your vehicle is littered with Cheerios, Goldfish crackers, blankets, socks, action figures and squeaky toys.
25. You take one look at your sleeping child and no matter how crazy your day has been you think, "This is the best!"

A Day in the Life and Ephesians 5:21

Since this blog applies to both my kiddos, I'm posting the same one in both places (my son's blog is williamplavinsmom.blogspot.com and my daughters is elizabethplavinsmom.blogspot.com for those who want to follow our adventures).

I belong to a mom's club and recently in the "kid in the spotlight section" of our newsletter one of the kids answered the question "what is mom's job?" in the following way:
"to keep the house clean and take care of us."
At first, the old feminist in me bristled at this and then I asked myself "why"? I am proud of my clean house, my home-cooked meals, my well-cared for kids, my son's "school time" that I do with him, etc. After all, if I were back to my old job, I would have to pay someone to watch my kids and I value that job so much that when I WAS a working mom we intereviewed quite a few people before we found our day care provider. If I didn't have the time to clean my house, I would pay someone to do that. So why was I feeling like what I did wasn't important? And then I realized it's because I was letting what others thought get the best of me. I was forgetting the awesome job I have and the awesome partnership I have with my husband that lets me do it to my fullest.

So many people (unfortunately men in particular, but women as well) look down on stay-at-home mothers (or fathers these days) and/or think of them as living a life of liesure. Since becoming a stay-at-home mom, I've found the old stereotypes alive and well as I've discovered my two least favorite phrases are "so what do you do all day?" from either nonparents or working parents and "but I worked all day" from the working 1/2 of husband and wife team where one stays at home (as an excuse to do absolutely nothing upon arriving home from work).
Well, I've never been one to live my life based on what others think and I'm not going to start now.
So to the latter statement I say - "SO DID YOUR WIFE OR HUSBAND WHO WAS HOME ALL DAY WITH THE KIDS!!! AND THEIR DAY STARTED BEFORE YOURS AND ENDED AFTER YOURS!!".

And as to the former statement here (so I may never forget) is 24 hours taken from this week and just remember that this "job" is one I don't get to quit at 5:00, I don't get a break from on weekends and that I do whether I'm sick, well, had 8 hours of sleep or only 3, have a migraine or a sinus infection. It's a job that starts at 5:45 am and ends around 11:30 pm:

5:45 am - woken by baby, nursed until 6:15 am
6:15 am - 6:45 am pumped milk to store for later
6:45 am - 8:00 am did yoga and showered, brushed teeth , dried hair
8:00 am - 8:30 am nursed baby in one arm while playing "clone troopers" with my 3 year old with the free hand
8:30 am - 9:00 am pumped milk with one hand while continuing to play clone troopers with my 3 year old with the other hand
9:00 am - 9:10 am made baby oatmeal and steamed apple chunks for breakfast
9:10 am - 9:40 am made family breakfast while running back & forth to baby's booster to feed her her breakfast
9:40 am - 10:20 am ate breakfast with family (yes, it takes this long with a 3 year old)
10:20 am - 10:40 am put baby down for morning nap and cleaned up breakfast dishes/counters, etc.
10:40 am - 11:15 am did "school time" with my 3 year old
11:15 am - 11:20 am cleaned up school time and started bringing out toys for 3 year old
11:20 am - 12:00 pm nursed baby & pumped again and played with 3 year old at the same time
12:00 pm - 12:20 pm played with both kids (and threw some laundry in for good measure)
12:20 pm - 12:45 pm made baby's lunch and our lunch
12:45 pm - 1:15 pm ate with kids
1:15 pm - 2:00 pm got kids upstairs, to the potty/diaper change, did some toy "cleanup time" with 3 year old, read stories and put them down for afternoon naps
2:00 pm - 4:00 pm cleaned up lunch mess, cleaned up baby's toys, folded laundry, put in two more loads of laundry, started some dinner prep and cleaned one toilet
4:00 pm - 5:15 pm nursed baby & pumped again, spent some "floor time" playing with baby
5:15 pm - 5:45 pm both kids now up, spent some play time and then clean up time with them and hubby
5:45 pm - 6:40 pm prepared baby's dinner and then our own
6:40 pm - 7:25 pm fed baby and ate dinner with the family
7:25 pm - 8:05 pm while hubby did dishes and cleaned up kitchen, I bathed & dressed baby and then bathed & dressed 3 year old, brushed his teeth and hair
8:05 pm - 9:00 pm while hubby fed baby, I read to 3 year old and conked out from exhaustion for about 20 minutes in his bed while we had his lullabyes on
9:00 pm - 9:30 pm pre-prepped tomorrow's breakfast and packed lunches for tomorrow's morning playtime at Tiny Tots
9:30 pm - 10:00 pm organized clothes for Tiny Tots clothing exchange while watching TV with hubby
10:00 pm - 11:00 pm put away more laundry and planned grocery list while watching more TV with hubby
11:00 pm - 11:30 pm got car packed up for tomorrow's outing to Tiny Tots and got ready for bed.
11:30 - 5:45 am slept until baby woke me again.

This is how my "work day" goes. And I'm proud of it. I'm proud to be a stay-at-home mom. I'm honored to know so many stay-at-home moms and dads who work so hard and I'm honored to know the spouses who actually support those who stay-at-home not just financially, but with thanks, love and by pitching in when they get home because they understand that their spouse also "worked all day." And I'm proud to say that one reason I can enjoy my job is because I have an equal partner in life, in marriage and in child rearing.

I'm horrified to say that my new life has unfortunately introduced me to too many who do not have supportive spouses (except financially.) I feel so blessed to have the husband I have, although quite frankly, I would have settled for nothing less. Too many I've met have settled for less and work their fingers to the bone while feeling resentful and underappreciated. And with them I share a verse I love from the Bible that is the key to a successful partnership:

Ephesians 5:21 says "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ".

Now, even if you're not a Christian and reverence doesn't factor in... the first part is the key. It's the part often left out of wedding vows and or exhortations to husbands and wives. To submit literally means to "defer to another" or to "accept another's will" and I've always said that I have no problem giving to Mike completely without thought for myself because he in turn does the same. He doesn't sit around like a king letting me do all the submitting (and to those who wonder, no he's not a Christian. yet he acts more like one that most I know). He gives and I give. We don't have to worry about caring for ourselves because we know the other will care for us. And most importantly, we BOTH care for our kids. We both "work", cook, clean, change diapers, wipe butts, give baths, read stories, tuck in, clean up vomit, discipline and love. We submit to one another.

So let me say again, I'm proud to be a stay-at-home mom and I'm good at it. I'm proud of the partnership I've forged with my husband and someday, lest either one of my children ever THINK of uttering one of my two hated phrases or forget to appreciate the work done by their own spouses or parents, I will show them this blog to let them know how awesome a job-well-done can be.

Octopus Wrangling

So I keep counting my daughter's limbs because I'm convinced she has more than four. I keep telling Mike that changing or bathing her is like "octopus wrangling". I keep thinking that I've managed to put the diaper, wipes, soap, shampoo, clothing, water, washcloth, etc. out of her reach when I'm changing or bathing her and the next thing I know, she has one or more items in her hand. Now... lest you smarties think, well don't leave her even for a second... I'm NOT! I'm sitting right there with her and yet she does a combination of half-flip/roll/reach so quick and the next thing I know one of her tentacles has somehow reached farther than one would think it could when you look at her limbs. I've now taken to using the strap on the changing table and "fencing" her in with my legs on the floor (doesn't always work). It also makes just getting the diaper on a challenge as well... it's like diapering a wriggling baby pig or something.

Holding her, in fact, has now also become Octopus Wrangling. Her "schedule" as far as eating, sleeping, etc. is not totally compatible with ours yet (it's slowly merging), but often she is ready to wind down and be held after her dinner is over and I'm still eating mine. So I often attempt to finish my food with her on my lap... BIG ERROR. Those little hands are grabbing for my placemat, plate, fork, food, cup, etc. I keep pushing them further away on the table figuring, hey my arms are longer than hers, I should be able to reach what I need and have it be far enough away from her. Not so, kids, not so. A baby's arms magically grow as if they were the super-hero Elastic Man. I swear. By the time my food is out of her reach, it's out of my reach too (save the short jokes, friends... I'm aware I'm vertically challenged and thus have short limbs myself). My step-dad, in fact, discovered this little fact on our last trip to California when he attempted to brush his teeth with her in his arms. Man, what I would have done to video tape that little scenario. He said by the time he finished, his face was covered in toothpaste and he's not sure he actually got to his teeth because she kept swiping at his hands, the toothpaste tube and the toothbrush. Elizbeth 1: Family 0.

The good news (ha ha) is that she is also now crawling (sort of). Just like her brother, she has eschewed the traditional crawling method and made up one of her own. But boy does she move! This, on top of her incredible stretching ability, means that the octopus can now reach more off-limit items and they usually consist of her brother's toys, her mother's breast pump,the dogs' chew bones, the dogs' tails, and her father's video game systems. I believe she is now thoroughly bored with her toys and feels that she should be entitled to play with whatever she can reach. I remember this stage with William, but it was easier because the house was smaller, I wasn't wrangling a toddler on top of it and there were no "big kid" toys to watch out for. Poor William is now constantly reminded that smaller legos, star wars action figure's blasters/jetpacks/lightsabers, Batman figures/accessories,etc. are all choking hazards and thus must be kept from Elizabeth's mouth. This is a larger challenge than I had anticipated I must say. The poor dogs just sit there and watch her with defeated looks on their faces. Elizabeth 2: Family 0.

I must say: 1) I'm glad she's not pulling up yet and 2) I'm glad she's not twins. I think in another month or so I'll be totally screwed. Isn't motherhood the best?

Remember this

So my little girl is only 6 1/2 months old and I'm already finding myself getting wistful the way mommies with older children do before they hit the "I want to have another one" emotional breakdown. As I was holding Elizabeth the other day I realized... I won't get to do this again. Unless God decides to override us and give us a whoops, Mike and I have decided that two is enough. We're stopping while we're ahead folks... we have two beautiful, very healthy kids. Time to stop. But I see now why moms suddenly get the urge for another. There are just so many beautiful moments that you don't want to forget. So I promised myself I'd write them down so that I will never forget these beautiful, crazy, silly moments since I won't have them again with another baby of mine...

"sleeping" with her - I use quotes for "sleeping" because you don't really get to sleep with Elizabeth. She is a thrashing, squeaking mess when she sleeps (your welcome mom, Karma has indeed returned the favor). Although it makes me dead tired, I do love it when she wakes up super-early to eat and then falls back to sleep on me for an hour or so. It's so warm just lying there with her on my chest, both of us snuggled under a blanket. I just love to hear her little breath sounds and doze off with her there. Of course, I wake every few moments as her hands fly and sock me in the eye... but still...

baby giggles - right now Elizabeth thinks her brother is the coolest thing ever. I love to hear those full "belly laughs" that he can get merely by running up to her. And I got them out of her yesterday as I sat her on our granite kitchen island and drummed my fingers loudly on it and then ran them up her belly. She thought it was hysterical.

baby babbles - I have to remember to record her because I just LOVE to hear her babbling. Right now the two most popular babbles sound like "bababababa" or "mamamamamaaaa" and she will just lie on her play blanket, toy in hand, feet in the air babbling forever.

sleeping in the sling - I have a sling that I carry her around in when I'm shopping or doing housework and she needs to be carried as it keeps my hands free. The other day I'm walking through Wally World (Walmart) with her in the sling when I feel her little head just fall against my chest and I realize she's fallen asleep in the sling. She looked so sweet that I was stopped every couple feet by some fellow shopper who wanted to look at her.

feeding her - Elizabeth is the most DISTRACTED eater. With solids, breast, bottle... it doesn't matter. That head is always snapping around looking at something other than food. It's funny to hear Mike feeding her because it's a never-ending cycle of suck-pop-Elizabeth! as the bottle pops from her mouth and Mike shouts "Elizabeth!" because milk keeps flying all over. Now, while breast feeding this is not convenient as she never seems to remember to unlatch before doing so (yow!), but I still have to laugh because she's just so funny. Even funnier, she apparently doesn't like me distracted because if I try to do anything else while she's nursing (I've tried eating, reading, playing with William, walking to get the phone... I could go on) she will turn her head up (the "pop" as the turns her head would be comical if it weren't the sound of her forgetting to unlatch first!) and look at me like, "excuuuuse me! I'm eating here! focus on me" and then she'll go back to nursing.

rocking her - Elizabeth is not the most still child. Even when she wants to be held, she would still prefer that you be moving while holding her. But every once in a great while she slows down and will just sit with me in the rocking chair before a nap. I love feeling her body slowly get heavier and her head falling toward me and the tickling on my arm as she graps and ungrasps her hands (this is her little pre-sleep fidget) while she gets sleepy.

feeding her new foods - starting solids is so much fun because I love watching the "new food face" when you give a baby something different. I love turning my kitchen into a labratory while I make and freeze all my baby food. And, as mentioned before, I love feeding my little distracted girl because it's kind of like an arcade game getting the spoon in her mouth while she turns her head. Her little face is usually covered in whatever it is she's eating, because I will invariably miss at least a few times.

hearing her wake up - Elizabeth, like her brother, wakes up happy more often than not. I'm not usually greeted with crying on the monitor, but babbling or some other noises. With Elizabeth it's usually her "dolphin" sounds as we call them. She's not really a coo-er. Instead she makes these high-pitched, happy squeals that make her sound like she's trying to talk to dolphins (and probably makes my dogs' heads explode) It's the coolest thing.

dolphin kicks - Elizabeth does this thing where she lies on her belly (like a penguin abou to slide on ice) and kicks her legs really fast. She usually does it when she's excited. It is the funniest sight. Her little arms stick straight out, her legs stick straight out and the only thing touching the floor is her belly and she just kicks and kicks and kicks. My favorite sight when I go to get her out of her crib in the morning is the way she does a little push-up to see who it is (so I see her little head pop up above the crib bumper) and then, when she sees it's mommy, she drops onto her belly with her arms outstretched and does her little happy kicks. I LOVE IT!

"happy eating" or "happy drinking" - Have you ever heard someone who's really hungry or thirsty sort of happily groan as they take a bit of food or a large swig of water... a nice loud "mmmmmhhhhhh"? Elizabeth does this often. It's hysterical because it's SOOOO LOUD when she does it. It's the funniest when I'm nursing her in public because I use this huge "shield" (looks like an oversized poncho) to feed her without exposing myself.. so you just hear this huge (mmmmmhhhhhmmmm!) coming out from under the shield and see little feet kicking happily. She did it a lot while I was in California and it just cracked up my mom.

baby kisses - Babies don't know how to kiss, so they usually just take their big open mouth and plant it on whatever they are trying to kiss, thus getting slobber everywhere. I will miss having these big, messy, baby kisses planted on my cheek, my shoulder and the best recently... the dog. The other day I look over at Elizabeth on her toy blanket just in time to see her grab Sasha by the ears (she held them like two handles of some old-fashioned water pitcher) and plant a huge baby kiss on Sasha's head. The look of surprise on Sasha's face was only matched by the look on Elizabeth's as she realized that she had dog hair in her mouth! (Don't panic germaphobe parents... I immediately removed the dog hair and she's fine!)

I hope I never forget all these little moments because it's amazing how fast they go by. My babysitter was just telling me about her daughter being exhausted and sore from nursing her newborn and I realized that I had already forgotten all that. It goes by so quickly...

Too Much or Too Little

For those of you who haven't yet entered the adventures of parenthood, or who are new to it... it I have a couple tips.

#1 - You CAN have TOO MUCH and
#2 - You will have too little even when you have too much.

Now let me explain. With both William and now Elizabeth, I have had friends & co-workers who have offered me hand-me-down clothes and toys. Both times I have accepted because children grow out of clothes SO QUICKLY, that it's a waste to just get rid of baby clothes rather than passing them down. For unless you wash your baby's clothes against sharp rocks, there is no way for a small baby to put much wear and tear on their clothes. In addition, you will often have SO many from friends and relatives that your child cannot feasibly wear them all and you'll feel less guilty if at least SOMEONE wears them. HOWEVER, be careful what you wish for. I have received SO many hand-me-downs for Elizabeth recently that I cannot, I repeat CANNOT fit them all in her closet and dresser! AND, I have received SO many toys that it actually once prompted a guest in our home to view our playroom and ask, "ummm... how many children did you say live here?" I just smiles sheepishly and told her that my kids have 6 grandparents and I have a lot of generous friends.

The other problem with the too much is organizing it all. You see, I am also determined to hand down my clothes (and have) to other parents so they too can have the joy of sorting through ridiculous amounts of clothing and being able to change their child 2-3 times per day when spit up or poop explosions happen without worrying about running out of clothes. However, organizing all these clothes takes up a LOT of time. I have spent NUMEROUS hours putting our initials on all our clothes and sorting them into sizes and storing them in size order so that I know which bin to reach for next and/or hand down to the next parent. Therefore, I now have tons of boxes labeled with things like "Boy clothes: 6-9 months" and "Girl/Gender Neutral Clothes - 3 months."

The advantage of the "too much" problem? Well, one was mentioned above. Elizabeth could have 3-5 poop/spit up explosions per day and I would still have enough clothes to last me without having to do laundry more than once a week. Another advantage: I can have "ready clothes" packed away in her diaper bag or her daycare bag in case a change of clothes is needed and still have enough in her closet and dresser to keep her dressed forever. A final advantage to both the clothes and toys: sharing. When other kids come over, you can be a fully prepared host to have enough toys to go around and enough spare clothes to share in case of impromptu runs through the sprinkler or last minute needs for extra jammies when friends stay longer than they had originally planned.

Now... how can you have too little, when you have too much? Here's how. You have so much that you trust that you have tucked away enough extra clothes, diapers wipes and toys that you forget to run a double check on your diaper bag or backpack when leaving the house. We have a two story house and I'm often packing both a diaper bag and another bag when leaving the house to ensure that both kids are covered that I make sure to keep clothes, burp cloths, toys, diapers and wipes in numerous locations. HOWEVER, it is the Murphy's Law of parenthood that the one time you NEED the extras will be the time you don't have them.

Recently, Mike and I were at the park and when it came time to change Elizabeth's diaper (poop, of course), I discovered that I actually did NOT have wipes. WHAT?! How does this happen? Now, thank God we live close to the park, but it still SUCKED to march home in really hot weather, JUST to bring back another package of wipes, especially when I have, like 12 extra packages lying around!

Another time, I had gotten so used to there being extra diapers in her bag that I did not double check. BIG ERROR. We were at Mike's work and she did a SUPER POOP and I had NO diapers. A very experienced and resourceful mother and friend told me to take a huge Maxi Pad from the ladies bathroom and tuck it in her diaper until we could get home. It worked, however, Elizabeth's diaper looked comically HUGE for the rest of our time at Symantec and I could barely snap close her onsie.

Finally, my favorite... I failed both my children at once. Despite the plethora of burp cloths, pacifiers and toys I have within reach, I failed to pack any of them one time. I then ended up at Starbucks using a napkin for a burp cloth, letting William play with my wallet, keys and cell phone and letting Elizabeth suck on my finger to placate herself. Way to go mom. Yeah, I was looking like mother of the year there.

Oh, one final tip to parents, speaking of burp cloths and too little or too much. Both in quantity and size... there is no such thing as too much! When you find yourself expecting or with a newborn, immediately go out and by yourself large packages of "receiving blankets". Do not, I repeat, DO NOT buy anything labeled burp cloth as these things are so comically small that unless you're lucky enough to have a baby who spits up less than an ounce at a time... you will be SOAKED. Also, these "receiving blanket" packages are very inexpensive and while the "blankets" are way too small to RECEIVE anything larger than perhaps a 4 pound preemie... they make FABULOUS burp cloths. They are large enough to cover your upper half, light enough to carry a few at a time and cheap enough to buy in larger quantities and have no guilt about ruining with multiple washings.

Now good luck parents... and wish me the same. I need it!

Mommy Moments

Whenever my mom would have a slip in memory or do something clumsy, she would call them "senior moments"... well, I'm having Mommy Moments. These are the moments when the lack of sleep gets to me and my mushy brain just does not compute. I had some whoppers with William... the best being the day I had to dumpster dive with for my keys. I had arrived at work at some god-awful hour and I parked right next to the little area where they had our huge trash and recycling dumpsters. In one hand I had some cardboard to recycle, in the other... my keys. I threw with the wrong hand and as my keys left my hand, life went into slow motion. I watched the keys arc in perfect rainbow fashion into the dumpster and stared in horror at the cardboard I was still clutching. I then dropped the cardboard and (now keep in mind I was in a skirt and heels) used my gymnastics training to retrieve my keys. You know when a gymnast "mounts" the lower of the parallel bars by popping herself up on her arms and resting her hips against the bars? Well, when they do a little flip around that same bar, it's called a hip circle and it took me forever to master. Not this day, kids... I popped myself up onto the edge of that dumpster, did a perfect half-hip circle so that my head was now down in the dumpster and my feet were sticking up in the air (I can't imagine what this would have looked like to a passer-by). I found those keys by god and laughed the rest of the day. My gymnastics coach would have been proud!

Well, despite the fact that Elizabeth is now "sleeping through the night" (this is what it's called if your newborn sleeps for 6 or more hours at a stretch), I am very low on sleep and energy. Thus... I am having more mommy moments. To whit: here are some of my best...

#1 - where the f@#! are my keys! - this is a frequent occurance as I am now travelling with a diaper bag and often 1-2 other bags full of clothes, buckets, trucks, food, etc. when I take the kids to the park so we can have lunch there. I'm often tossing my keys into the nearest bag where they disappear into an abyss only to be found after dumping ALL the bags in my possession as the common "shake and listen" method never seems to locate the damn things. The best one was at a baseball practice for William where I had to bring Elizabeth because I had no one to watch her and Mike came along to watch/help. We ended up combing the grassy area where the practice was, peeking in all the windows of my Escape, patting me down like a terrorist attempting to breach airport security and finally dumping the entire contents of the diaper bag (while yelling at each other) before locating the keys.

#2 - this goes where? - I am constantly misplacing common items or doing what I did with the keys and cardboard in my initial story. One day as I stomped angrily through my kitchen convinced that Mike had totally lost it (you notice I cannot yet accept that I'm a moron right now), I finally realized why I couldn't find the milk. I had placed it in the pantry and put the cereal in the refrigerator. I've also been known in recent days to put a dirty diaper in my purse, William's sock in my bathroom sink, forget that I've already buckled Elizabeth in her carseat and instead stare in a panic at her empty swing wondering if she's suddenly learned to walk, leave my dog outside all night because I've forgotten that I let her out, gotten two speeding tickets in the EXACT SAME SPOT within 6 months of each other, pack a "picnic" with just bread and mayonnaise because I forgot the turkey at home, and put hand soap on my toothbrush instead of toothpaste. Man, no wonder sleep deprivation is a common element of torture.

#3 - are you drunk? - I have (a few times now) been SO tired, that I lose the ability to complete a sentence. I have found myself, on a number of occasions, attempting to talk to someone on the phone or in person, only to find that I'm slurring, stuttering and just plain rambling incoherently like a drunkard due to lack of sleep. The most recent time I did this, I was on the phone with my friend Jerrod who pointed out that perhaps driving and talking on a cell phone in a construction area with two small children in the car was not the brightest move if I was too tired to even complete a simple sentence. Yeah, yeah... what does he know?

#4 - the nod off - I am constantly nodding off now due to my extreme exhaustion. the sad part is, is that I often do this either A) while nursing Elizabeth and find myself drooping on to her or B) while attempting to watch something with William or read him a story. It is so sad when you're tired enough to fall asleep mid-sentence in a Curious George book or when your 3 your old has to bump you and say, "mommy... you're snoring!" Elizabeth, at least, just sort of squeals at me indignantly when I nod off and slump onto her. I'm sure if she could talk she'd say, "hey lady, I asked you to feed me, not suffocate me!" My poor kids.

It's funny... I used to laugh at my mom because she'd fall asleep the minute she sat down and could never stay awake long enough to finish a movie or even a 1/2 hour sitcom. Well, Karma's a bitch kids... because that's me now. I'm lucky if these days I make it past the opening credits if Mike and I pop in a movie.

Speaking of sleep, perhaps I should get some. God knows what I'll do tomorrow in my sleepy stupor if I don't.

Old Dog / New Tricks

Okay, so in my first post, I said that this little girl made me feel capable because this infant thing is easier the second time around. My only challenge was her spitting up. A HA HA HA HA! I was wrong kids, wrong. You see, this old dog had to learn some new tricks because this baby is different from the last.

We started having a problem where Elizabeth was terribly gassy and upset. She was having horrible blow-out poops and the amazing Exorcist-style spit ups that I described in my last post were increasing in frequency. I call the doc in a panic when it turns out, I should have just called a lactation consultant. Turns out problem was something called over-supply combined with over-active let-down. Sure, why not?

You see, when you nurse you produce two kinds of milk. Foremilk which is thin and watery (which takes care of her thirst) and hindmilk which is thicker and fattier (which takes care of her hunger). Now why in the hell God has not allowed our boobs to evolve so that both come out at the same time in some magic perfect ratio, I'm not sure. NOOOOO... one comes out an then another. Why is this a problem? Well... when you're trying to do some pumping and storage of milk (to have bottles handy for Dad to handle some feedings so I can sleep or for the baby sitter), you can actually throw off nature's lovely little balance and produce too much foremilk and not enough hindmilk. This is called over-supply. The symptoms? Terrible gas, bloating, thin/watery poops and projectile spit-up. Sound familiar? Wooo Hoo... strike one for mom.

So I had to spend days doing this fun nursing pattern and very little pumping so I could some how achieve the perfect balance of some milk to store, but no oversupply. Yay. Super Fun. I've finally found the balance though and have a much happier baby as a result. Of course, for a while, I stopped producing enough milk in my efforts to stop the over-supply and wanted to just bang my head against a wall. Too much milk. Too little milk. Too much foremilk. AAAAGGGHHH! This is why some women just say f#@! it and use formula.

Way #2 Elizabeth is different? Sleep issues. Now, she sleeps through the night already, so what issues can she have you ask? Well, her signs that she is too over-tired are unfortunately IDENTICAL to her signs for hunger. She starts WAILING inconsolably and sucking her fingers. HELLLLOOOOO... can we perhaps vary the signs so that poor mom doesn't panic and think that a growth spurt is imminent and then get frustrated because you're turning away from the breast like it's poison? Elizabeth does do the most hysterical face when you have the audacity to offer breast or bottle when she's not hungry but tired. Imagine the face a kid makes when they taste soap or shampoo. Very similar, kids, very similar. She sort of makes a BLAGHAH type sound and spits the offending item from her mouth. I should video tape it, really.

Way #3 Elizabeth is different. She's a definitely in need of some oral placating from time to time. I've had to use a pacifier a couple times just to stop the tired/cranky wailing because I'm just not always able to hold her while it stops and she drops into her quiet sleepiness right before her eyes shut and snoring ensues. I HATE using a pacifier. I actually haven't used it in a couple weeks and I'm learning to just let her cry or self-soothe with her fingers as her sleep pattern is starting to become more predictable. I get the feeling, however, it will be in my best interest to still have a couple pacifiers in the house. I'm hoping though, that I will only use them the way I did with William - putting them in the freezer for chewing during teething. Because I really don't want to blog two years down the road about how much it sucks to wean Elizabeth from the pacifier!

Elizabeth - The Reckoning

So, she's here. The one who tortured me in utero, my second and last child, my daughter, karma's little gift to my mother. I chose the title of this post because whenever my husband and I were getting a second of something (second dog, second lizard, etc) he always inserted "the reckoning" in as part of their name. But so far, she's not "the reckoning"... she is the-one-who-makes-me-feel-capable.

Yes folks, the second child is easier. Much easier. Or perhaps I'm just less insane. I'm not jumping up at every noise. Nor am I jumping up in the absence of noise - poking her to make sure she's breathing. I'm not consulting a million websites and books daily to make sure I'm doing everything right. I'm not sitting around with an insane and inexplicable resentment toward my husband. I'm not crying inconsolably, exhausted on only 3 hours of sleep. I'm sleeping (granted in broken up chunks) 5 1/2 - 7 hours per night. I'm feeling like a unified team with my husband whom I love and am thankful for. I've consulted my books/websites a couple times, but mostly it's all coming back like riding a bike.

This is so weird. I'm telling you. Mike and I were sitting there on our couch the other night giggling in shock. Both our kids were sleeping and we were marvelling at the fact the fact that we're not the walking dead. Are we tired? Yes. Have there been some challenging moments? Of course. But all in all... we're coping. More than that, we're doing well!

So what will I post about? What crazy stories can I share? No worries, kids. God, in his infinite wisdom, makes sure that life hands us moments to remember and laugh at later, if we still have the energy.

Our most recent... the-amazing-spitting-Elizabeth (see my other post at williamplavinsmom.blogspot.com for our other most recent fiasco, uh event). Elizabeth has been mostly easy. After some initial nursing trouble, she eats and sleeps well. Here's the problem... sometimes that first one (the eating) goes a little too well, or shall I say too long. Now, don't get me wrong. William could spit up and spit up well. He NEVER, however, spit up so much that he soaked me to my underwear. No, I'm afraid that prize goes to his sister.

You see, she does what I call "marathon" eating sessions from time to time where she just can't seem to stop eating for about 3-4 hours straight. Well during a very recent marathon session I was attempting to burp her (and by attempting I mean I had JUST started to move her toward my shoulder) when she did the most amazing Exorcist-Pea-Soup impression I have ever seen. The amount of milk that shot from her (mouth AND nose kids, mouth and nose) seemed to be of a volume impossibly large for one so small. I think she spat up everything she ate - SINCE BIRTH. I got up to change and realized that besides soaking our couch (praise God for stain resistant micro fiber) she had not just soaked my shirt and pants. She'd soaked me to my underwear! I had to shower and change EVERYTHING. Then, as I go back out to find her (Daddy had since cleaned her up), I find an incredibly pleased-with-herself baby who is wanting to EAT AGAIN!! Are you kidding me? I think she just figured she'd emptied herself out and now it was time to fill up with some fresh stuff.

Here's the kicker too... she's now performed this same feat on my mother-in-law and brother-in-law.

Gotta love this little girl already. At least she spreads the wealth!